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Hyperbolic Party

March 5, 2009

So our beginning of year party in January, the weekend after I got back to town was yet another non-costume party, sadly, but we set it up as a bizarre and spectaculat premise regardless.  Our house has had an ongoing joke about the “ghost in our attic” since we moved in and were forced to deal with the odd nuances of an ancient house.  We named him W. A. Booley after a little plaque with the name on it pasted to the front of the house, and from there the whole thing snowballed.  In time, we decided it was thus necessary to fête our ghost in order to appease him, and Booley Day was born.

But we couldn’t just set him up as any old ghost.  Our ghost had to be special; thus, this rather hyperbolic and entirely facetious description of a probably nonexistant man was born.

This is the official portrait of Mr. Booley.  As in, some other bloke off the internet that we photoshopped to look like it was old.  (His name, BTW, is Kenny Burke and hes the 2007 World Beard And Moustache Championships “Full Beard, Styled Moustache.” Champion.  Congrats, Mr. Burke.

This is the "official portrait" of Mr. Booley. As in, some other bloke off the internet that we photoshopped to look like it was old. (His name, BTW, is Kenny Burke and he's the 2007 World Beard And Moustache Championships “Full Beard, Styled Moustache.” Champion. Congrats, Mr. Burke.)

On the fine day of January 16th; the eminent young gentlemen of Victory Manor invite you & yours to join us in drinking to the founder of our fine house, the noble W. A. Booley.

Mr. Booley was a fine man with a dignified moustache and a refined taste for mischief, mayhem, and debauchery. We do our best to live up to his fine example, but desire a more specific honouring upon the 16th. He fought in two famous wars and started three, missing the last due to the unfortunate circumstance of being passed out drunk in a bordello and presumed dead. He is the only man known to have taken on a hundred of the Thai prostitution industry’s finest and come out having only been in bed with genetic females. He invented horses. Like, in general; before Booley, people rode donkeys everywhere – they went back and changed the history books afterward, though, because a donkey is a pretty humiliating animal to ride at the front of a military charge. Booley once saw a naked singularity and survived. He said it was the most erotic thing he’s seen since Queen Elizabeth was young and didn’t own so many goddamned dogs. A secret cabal from highest Nepal had a price on Booley for years, but retracted it after their assassins kept suffocating trying to wade through the hudreds of nubile young women throwing themselves at him. He’s died four times now, the first two times it just didn’t take and the third he got bored and came back for a stiff drink.

Now he haunts our attic.

So join us in toasting his honour and celebrating friends & not-yet friends and possibly lamenting the resumption of classes. Bring a friend, bring a few friends, bring your own booze. We’ll see where the night takes us from there.

I would like to think this is up there among the most amusing things I’ve written.  At least, it’s the only piece of my own writing that makes me laugh out loud every time I re-read it.

The party itself was a great, fairly standard, party for us.  We danced like mad in the dining room, there was a little drama but not tons (I kissed someone I shouldn’t’ve, shit blew up, shit got fixed; Keto hooked up with a gal and regretted it later – the defining lines of his night went “Her ‘You’re so hairy!‘ Him: ‘Yes…?’ Her: ‘That’s such a turn-on!’ Him: ‘That’s … wierd…'”) and the party generally went off hitch-less.

Other than the entertaining shitstorm of the dancefloor and minor drama, it was relatively unexceptional.  Jaertes & I had mad Booley-chanting for a while, but got bored and went back to flipcup and dancing and playing host.

Glad it happened, it was fun, but not on par with the one that followed it.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Tara permalink
    March 9, 2009 2:01 am

    Fucking flipcup.
    I miss you.

    • March 9, 2009 2:15 am

      I’m pretty erratic at it. I’ll have nights where I’m on and nights I’m totally not at all.

      Either way, I dislike comsuming that much beer.

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