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Just Say It

June 4, 2008

Amongst our services, we do provide some assistance regarding some mobile appliances and tools, (with the appropriate coverage, of course), and sometimes those are the best calls – they can be the most hopelessl lost, or the most brutally confused regarding their location.

Or, in the case of the man who called the other day, the most recalcitrant regarding their actual location.  The hydraulics in the handi-assist auto doors on his modded van were acting up, and he was stuck.  He urgently needed our of our lads to get there and fix them up so he could go about his business.

When the call began, he seemed oddly deliberately vague when I was eliciting a precise location from him.  “Well, uh, I’m at Main and 16th; uh…  I’m parked in the back alley…”  When I asked if he knew where he was parked behind, he hummed and hawed a bit before getting pushy, replying with “Well, I’m the only (VAN SPECIFICS) parked in the alley, you can’t miss me.”  Fine, I thought, “…idiot…” It’s an area I know rather well, so I dragged out which side of the intersection his alley was on (South-West.) and how many buildings from 16th he was parked (Two.), at which point I knew exactly where he was, and why he’d been so squirrely about where he was.  “Oh,” I said, “You’re parked behind the porn store, eh?  Big Rich’s Adult Video?”

There was a long pause. A very long pause.

I waited it out, to be rewarded with a very quiet, very sedate “Yeah, uh, I guess so…”

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