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Heart Failure

May 7, 2008

I would’ve sworn I’d written you regarding this little incident, but as best as I can tell, such things have not yet manifested themselves.

This all went down in mid-October, when I recieved my weekly phone call from my somewhat anxious mother.  After the usual “how was your week” chatter, she hesitantly broached the topic that she’d really called regarding…

“Well, uh, Earthman, there seems to be, well, almost $500 worth of alcohol on your Visa bill this month, and…”

“What?  No.  I’ve never used my Visa at the LCBO, and I wouldn’t rack up that much on it..!” Ohshit.  I’ve been scammed, and I’m on the hook for a shitload of money I’ve not spent – I havn’t paid that bill yet.  Fuck.  I barely have that much in savings!

“Well, it’s quite a lot of liquor, and I’m kinda concerned about the quantity…”

“No.  No, no, no, fuck quantity, I’m concerned about the money.  I haven’t paid the Visa yet this month, and I never use it at LCBO anyway.  I always pay cash or use Interac.  Who do I call about getting ripped off?”

“… Oh, did I say Visa Bill?  I meant Bank Statement…”

“You’re kidding.

I can’t believe you’d scare me like that.  With Interac, that money is gone, and I know it’s gone, if I don’t have the money, it’s ’cause I spent it; Visa means I still have to pay it, if I don’t have the money I still owe it.  Holy shit, please, pay attention to this kind of thing!”

“Well, but there’s $500 of booze on the tab that I’m still concerned about, and what bill it was isn’t the issue…”

“…I was buying for a party; I was there, so I got it all and everyone paid me back.  It’s not a big deal at all; you scaring the piss out of me is a big deal, please don’t do it again.”

For a few moments during the conversation, my heart pretty much stopped.  I’d spent a lot on booze that month, but it was stocking up for future months combined with buying for groups ’cause I was already there.  Efficiency, y’know, students are good at it.  However, I knew that I’d spent the money, and that I’d gotten the money back where it was owed.  That was hardly an issue, the fact that I thought I owed $500 I’d not spent for booze I never saw on my Visa, well, that got me.  Holy shit, did it ever get me.  It was the difference between real groceries and subsiding off leftover stir-fry for the next two weeks until my next paycheque.

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