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Beer ≠ Fun

April 7, 2008

Really. I’ve been telling the world that I don’t drink beer much because it does dreadful things to me, and I’ve been being honest. No one ever seems to believe me.

On Saturday, I apparently proved myself right beyond a doubt. Over the course of the night, I drank a entire bottle of Chimay Trappist ale, a 7%, 750ml monstrosity equivalent to a bottle of wine in beer format, as well as some rum that I had hanging around. I’d not set out for such feats of alcoholism, I just drank enough beer early on that my typical alcohol-related caution was overwhelmed and I subsequently overdid it.

My recollection of the night is as follows: Get home, shower, clean up. Joined the party. Drank some beer, was challenged to beer-pong by Alther, humiliating defeat. Played with rum & coffee, ’cause I didn’t want to have to down the dark beer that fast. (Already, shocking lack of caution; 1/4 bottle of Chimay done.) Danced badly with Alcyone & Jaertes for a while, donated premixed margarita to Jethe, chatted with Alpheos & his girlfriend, watched Jaertes, Alther, and Alpheos take on Boreas and a couple of other people in a water fight using spray bottles. Changed music, danced more. About 1/2 of the Chimay done; +rum. Yiacchus & Kyrene show up, with another friend of theirs. Socialize, dance badly, drink more. 3/4 of the Chimay done, little more rum. Discuss drugs with Alcyone & Kyrene, watch Alcyone roll a joint, offer her the use of my pipe. Drink more, all but bottom 1/2 inch of the Chimay killed, drink more rum. Protests from stomach, passed the Chimay off to Jaertes, much to his delight, and went to bed. Got up, emptied the still-irate stomach (2nd time, ever, not since this time last year, and also involving beer), went back to bed. Got up at 9:00, whole body was now irritated with me, and haggerswaggered my way off to work.

Apparently, this isn’t quite how it all happened. Jaertes was almost as done as me, so we’re both pretty hazy, but as best as we can tell, we’re both missing an hour and a half to two hours of the night. I have no clue what went on during that time. Sthena assures me that I wasn’t unpleasant or anything, but after the last time I got close to this fucked, I’m … understandably nervous.

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