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Somewhat An Oxy(Moron)

January 28, 2008

So I recieved a fantastic phone call at work today.  I’ll just transcribe it here for you, my responses are in bold.  Italics are in my head.

KW Coffee, Earthman speaking.

Hello?  This is KW Coffee, the café, right?

Certainly is.  What can we do for you today?

Well, uh, you have baked goods, right?  …Shit. She thinks we’re a café, café.

Yes, we do.  

Do you have dairy-free baked goods? Do we? Hmmm…  Like, brownies or muffins or butter tarts or anytWait, what?Dairy …  Free …  Butter tarts?  How the fuck does that work?  Isn’t that kinda, well, not the idea?egan, and I know most places have soy milk, but we like to get something to eat when we go out as well.

Uh. No…  I don’t think so.  I’m really sorry.

…Oh…  Well, uh, thanks.  Anyway.  …Yeah…


This exchange made me laugh really hard.  First off, dairy-free brownies are always atrocious.  Beyond that, dairy free butter tarts?  They have “butter” in the name.  Like, really, what the hell?  They’re not “margarine tarts” or “soya-based butter-alternative tarts”.  No.  “Butter Tarts”.  The butter part should be a giveaway that there’s not going to be a dairy-free option there.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Tara permalink
    January 28, 2008 9:50 pm

    HAH. I get that at work all the time, especially because my boss refuses to carry ricemilk (“It’s COFFEE. Drink it or don’t.” is a direct quote from her), but I think the best thing about this post is that at the bottom, the list of tags at first glance appears to read “stupid tarts.”

    Rice / Almond / Non-soy milk alternatives are totally unheard of out here. Hell, I barely get any decaf-skim orders, it’s fantastic.

    Also, that was intentional.

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