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The Two-Part

October 25, 2007

I might’ve written about it before, but I find the two-part order a hilarious and almost predictable phenomina.  Almost invariably when a couple comes in and are not already part of coffee culture, they have a specific pattern of ordering that seems almost inviolate.

One of the two – always the first to hit the till – will order the most ornate, labour-intensive beverage on the menu (Extra-syrup vanilla-raspberry-coconut triple mocha, anyone?), and their companion will always get a “medium coffee, please.”  Sometimes, rarely, it’ll be a large.

It’s like they’re trying to compensate for the person who ordered the superdrink by getting the simplest, cheapest drink they can think of, and they always seem to be self-conscious making the order.

If delivered right, their hushed “Medium coffee, please.” will cause the more ambitious companion to look over at them with a vertain degree of horror and concern, as though they’re thinking “Oh no, get something else.  Anything.  Just stop making me look like the douche ordering that massive drink…”  It’s great fun to watch.

Sadly, all this amusement comes at a cost – the person getting the superdrink rarely feels like tipping after blowing $5~ on their monstrosity of a drink, and the person getting the “Medium coffee, please.” is rarely inclined to throw a little in the pot after seeing the comparitive labour difference between their drink and their companion’s.

Dammit.

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