Mayhem

On Sunday night, the lads & I decided that the main things out house is lacking are ornamentation and style.

What key object does this call out for?  Milk crates.

100% awesome, the penultimate poor-college-kid furniture item, we needed milk crates, and lots of ‘em.

And so, some drinks into us, we set out to see what interesting things we could come by.  We wandered well across town and behind some shops, where we obtained four milk crates and Keto and I found a half-barrel.  Jethe got stuck carrying our milk crates while Keto and I lugged this damned half-barrel crosstown to get it back to the house. I can be nothing but glad The Blues weren’t out in force that night, two blokes sketchin’ it on the streetcorner, trying to look nonchalant while loitering with a half a barrel on their shoulders strikes me as the kind of thing that might’ve attracted unwanted attention.

And at 2AM, I can’t picture us talking our way out of it “…Uh, see officer, I, uh, bought it on the Internet…?  And, uh, we could only pick it up now?”

“Suuuuuure, son.”

As I said, though, thankfully nosuch occurrance troubled the evening.

We got the first haul home, had a few more liquid warmups, and went back out for more loot.  On the second run, we had the magnificent good fortune to find a streetsign that had been uprooted by other more industrious mayhem-causers than ourselves (also possible: hit by a car) which we decided would make an excellent addition to our collection of odd things.  Again, Keto and I hauled the thing back on our shoulders, making Jethe act lookout and scout ahead to keep an eye out for The Blues or even just locals who might take offence at our procurement of the local signage.

We spent 20 minutes prying signs off the signpost, after which we imbibed further before heading out yet again to continue our original mission of More Milk Crates.  We headed the other way, hid from The Blues on top of a pub for a while (despite having nothing incriminating on us at the time, we merely figured they’d know our evening’s misdeeds on sight and we’d all be immediately Fucked Over should they spot us) before they peaced elsewhere, at which point we lurked on the pub for more time while a few folks resolved some differences in the back lot.  Blues returned, at this point, to tell the folks in the back lot to Knock That Shit Off, Guys; and everyone dispersed and we were able to resume our exploring and stealing.

We hit the motherlode behind a local resuaurant, who had four crates in their little smoke pit (as opposed to the more gradual accumulation of the earlier four), which Keto and I swiped before going looking for Jethe, who we realized had gone missing somewhere between us getting off the pub and getting behind the restaurant.

We found Jethe four blocks away, sitting on a sofa someone had put out to curbside, smoking.  Turned out that he’d become disoriented dismounting the pub, and heard voices he thought were ours in the direction opposite where Keto and I had gone.  Following who he thought was us, he was greatly distressed upon catching up with them to discover that he’d not actually found us, and too afraid calling us might give us away were we stuck hiding again, he opted to chill out on the first comfortable place he found and wait for us to find him.  Keto and I suspect he might’ve sat there all night had we not happened upon him on our way home.