Accounting Moment…

So; stolen from a Facebook note, we have the product of a misspent Accounting and Financial Management class – our attempts to milk accounting jargon for every possible sexual reference we could.

What do you get when you put a musician, a jock, an artsy kid, a piece of paper, a boring accounting class and a pretty girl together ?

you get this;

Accounting Jokes
Vol. I

- Your mom has a huge asset.

- Your mom is carrying my liability.

- My assets bring all the boys to the yard.

- My private organization has bigger office equipment than yours.

- My balance sheet has bigger assets than yours.

- I’ll happily divide your assets with my liability.

- All your transactions are publicly accounted. On the internet.

- My assets are twice the industry average.

- If I cover my debt, will you let me stick it in your balance sheet?

- I can promise that our business transaction won’t involve any short-term liquidation.

- If I don’t window dress my assets, they become a liability. Everyone will laugh at me

- You’re like a long-term liability; long & hard.

- I can’t wait to liquidate your assets in a hostile takeover.

- Dammit, I liquidated all over your balance sheets.

- I would like to put my capital stock in your retained earnings, as long as it doesn’t create a long-term liability.

- My rapid cash-flow just came in your delicious enterprise.

- I haven’t released any equity since my last financial statement, so most of my current transactions are solo entrepreneurships.

- I liquidated so many of her assets that she had to sell shares in order to cover her debt.

- Your capital stock makes my business earnings grow so big.

- Every time I see your profit reports on the internet, I think of my dividends on your assets and liquidate a little of my private property.

- If you review my equipment assets with your liability, I’ll pay you cash for services rendered.

- Our private transactions make my owners equity skyrocket.

- I have so many years of retained earnings amassed that when I DO pay dividends, the entire stock market will need a day off to recover.

- My liquidation transactions are often based on a sole proprietorship, but with your assets, lets make these private transactions a partnership.

- I think we liquidated all of our comedic assets.

These are the product of the four of us, not mine solely.  If you have any of your own, I’d love to hear ‘em.